I was having not-a-coffee with a
girlfriend, just before shitmas, yammering about my layoff at the thrift
store. And, she comes back with “You can help me with the booze
delivery business I manage.”
I want to help her. And it sounded good. I’m thinking “hey, maybe the Universe is trying to give me a SIGN!”
I did a few days of training with her,
driving around town making her laugh. But it felt all wrong. It feels
all wrong. I’ve done a few days – one on my own, and New Years Eve I
did a few deliveries before the snow storm got so effing bad that I had
to back out.
It’s not worth the effort. And one of the
last stop I did, there was a big sign on the apartment complexes door
saying “oh, hey, we’ve got bedbugs. Like, lots of them.” and the dude
that I was delivering to had 6 empty cases for me to take with me. Which
I imagined were laden with bedbugs.
Fucking fuck. Oh, and he stiffed me
.95cents, because he didn’t have it, and the alternative was to take the
12 pack of beer back to the beer store, NOT get paid for the delivery,
and be out the gas it took to drive it there, and back…
Anyway. Boss Lady asked me if I could
come to the store for possibly 2 days a week. I say possibly, because
Boss Lady isn’t sure there will be much business, and not much business
means not much pay for Mz. Gracie.
So, anyway. ALSO.
The one I’ve been referring to as “A
Beautiful Man” has been in
my life one way or another for almost 2
years. He has turned into “THE Beautiful Man.” We did New Years
together, and I actually DRANK. Might be all the time I was around the
liquour and beer stores, and it was only a half a glass of sparkling
white. But I hadn’t had a real drink since July. And that last real
drink was half a glass of red.
ANYWAY. Can I still consider myself
polyamourous when all my amour is poured into The Beautiful Man?
Dunno.
But I’m all stupified with Love and Shit. It feels good, now that I’ve
let go of the Fear.
We can ponder more on that later. Right now, I have to pee.
Grace.
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