Sweet Fucker and Corn and Beet, Oh My!

I have started referring to the Violin, as “Sweet Fucker” as opposed to just “Fucker.” I’ve been told that If I continue to just swear at her, she’ll never play beautifully for me.

So, when I make horrible noises from her, I yell “SWEEET FUCKER!” or sometimes whisper it to her. I think it’s working! The notes sound a little less irritating to me.

And, here are a couple of OTHER Sweet Fuckers I found at the thrift store.

 

A little vintage salt and pepper set. I’m sure it’s Sweet Corn and Sweet Beet. The Beet caught my eye, because, she’s playing a Sweet Fucker too! The Corn blowing a flute couldn’t be MORE phallic, without being an actual cock. Made me laugh, all by myself in the thrift store. Ha!

They are dirty lovers, I’m sure. And, check out the Sweet Beet’s face:

I KNOW that Sweet Corn is in a dress… but there’s something else going on under there. Sweet Corn blew a load onto Sweet Beet’s chin and cheek. I mean, LOOK at her face!

And still, she plays on.

Grace.