VHS Movies, Take Out, and Dirty Old Grace.

At the thrift store, we get a butt tonne of VHS movies in. (You know, tapes. Big bulky things, containing movies magically on the inside.)

We get some really awesome throw back films. And some films I’ve never seen, and I go all “Whaaat? How have I not seen his yet?” And then it gives me VCR envy. As I don’t own a VCR. (VCR’s. Big blocky things with buttons. Eats VHS tapes. And grilled cheese sammiches and hot wheels if kept too close to the floor with toddlers in the house. Follow along.)

Anywhere, there’s one particular fellow who comes in the store. Almost always comes in near the end of my shift, and routinely purchases, like, 15 movies at a time. We sell them 3 for a buck. So, it’s not about him being a big spender. This is about me thinking:

“Hey. This guy is in work clothes. So, I’m gonna assume he’s got a job. Also, he buys a butt tonne of films. Meaning, he’s got a lot of time on his hands. He’s also wearing no wedding ring. And he’s handsome, in that work-hard-get-dirty, 50-year-old kinda way. Clearly, he’s lonely and would be eager for company. And he’d probably also spring for take-out. So, I wonder if I ask him, if he’ll let me come over and watch cool VHS movies on his VCR. Since I don’t have one.”

But ofcourse, that trails my dirty mind into all the shenanegans I’d get up to that probably have nothing to do with watching VHS movies from the 80′s. It has everything to do with MISCHIEF. And adventure. And Butt Tonnes.

And THEN I hear the phrase “You don’t shit where you eat.” in the voice of a dear friend. Which translated means “Grace, you do NOT get up to shenanegans with customers. In their lonely lonely homes or otherwise.”

Gah. Do you know how hard it is to keep this stuff in my HEAD all day?

Grace.

P.S. Now I want take out.